Got It Goin’ Bossanova.

“….after, you know, after the game or something you can think about the money….”

Muff ‘em up, kiddies.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L1BDM1oBRJ8]

My main man Samuel L Jackson has signed a nine movie deal with Marvel Studios to play Nick Fury; the first of which will be Iron Man 2.  It is scheduled to come out in the summer of 2010.

A Captain America movie, as well as an Avengers movie are in the works, too.

Nick Fury is cool enough, but it so frickin’ cool how they are weaving the storylines together through S.H.I.E.L.D.

Captain America opens on May 6, 2011, and The Avengers opens July 15, 2011, so it looks like one will lead right into the other.

Granted the last couple of Spiderman movies were pretty bad.  But aside from that, Marvel Studios is doing it right by having overlapping storylines.  If you see one, you’re on the hook to see the others.

Oh, and X-Men Origins:  Wolverine opens in 2 months.

Editor’s note: I still really like hot chicks, football and fast cars.

The FIGJAM is f’ing with me again.  My main main Phil Mickelson was up 4 with 5 to go against Zack Johnson in the second round of the Accenture Match Play Championships.  But there must be a hotdog stand on the 14th tee, ‘cuz Phil has gone to crap there two days in a row.

Zack has run off two holes in a row, and now trails by 2 with 3 holes to go.

Updates to follow…

OK, they’ve just gone dormie, but seriously, has there ever been a guy who plays more to his stereotype?

*Update:
And now they’re heading to 18 with the FIGJAM up one.  WTF??!!

**Update again:
They both parred the 18th, so Phil wins 1up.

The Buccaneers released 837 players yesterday putting them close to $60 million under the salary cap.  So the scuttlebutt is the Bucs are lining up to make a HUGE offer to Albert Haynesworth.

Plus, the Redskins are facing some serious cap issues themselves.

The ‘Skins are trying to work a deal with DeAngelo Hall before the free agency period begins tonight at 12:01 am (when other teams will get to make him official offers.)  So to protect themselves, the ‘Skins haven’t released Shawn Springs yet.  Plus, they are in serious talks to retain Jason Taylor.

The math doesn’t seem to work out here.

Not for his gambling or drinking.

Charles Barkley is going to be featured in a new Golf Channel show.  The premise is the world’s most famous swing coach, Hank Haney, is going to attempt to build a new swing for Chuck.

If you haven’t had the opportunity to see Barkley’s swing, you’re really missing out.  It’s like some mutated version of a seizure and a dry heave.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s50K65PNeBU]

You don’t have to be a golfer to know his swing is a disaster.  See all the carnage unfold starting Monday March 2 at 9pm on the Golf Channel.

PS - I am assuming this was taped before he got popped for his DUI.  I can’t condone drinking and driving, but at least he had a pretty good reason.

My main man Philly Mc put the boot to Angel Cabrera in the first round of the Accenture Match Play today.  Phil went after the Argentine like a fat guy goes after a large #3 at Wendy’s.  And orders an extra cup of cheese sauce for his fries.  ‘Cuz that’s how my main man Phil does it.

(time passes)

Apparently my main man was putting the boot to Angel Cabrera.  Thru the first 14 holes Phil was up 4 with 5 to go.  Then the bed shitting commenced.  Phil started smacking it around like Chris Brown on date night.  Cabrera ripped off 4 in a row to extend the match to extra holes.

On the way back to #1, Phil sucked down a box of Twinkies and a Big Slam Code Red Mountain Dew, and did his best to regroup after his Mama Cass-esque performance.

Phil birdied the 19th hole to advance to the round of 32.

Oh, and some other guy is making his return after an 8 month layoff.

In what is sure to go down as one of the most entertaining ceremonies in the history of Major League Baseball, the Oakland A’s are planning on retiring Rickey Henderson’s #24.

Henderson, the 1990 AL MVP and MLB career leader in runs scored and stolen bases, is a first ballot HOFer.  He also might be the (unintentionally) funniest MFer on the planet.

With this in mind, here is a list of the 25 best Rickey Henderson stories of all time:

In June 1999, when Henderson was playing with the Mets, he saw reporters running around the clubhouse before a game. He asked a teammate what was going on and he was told that Tom Robson, the team’s hitting coach, had just been fired. Henderson said, “Who’s he?”

Rickey… on referring to himself in the third person:
“Listen, people are always saying, ‘Rickey says Rickey.’ But it’s been blown way out of proportion. People might catch me, when they know I’m ticked off, saying, ‘Rickey, what the heck are you doing, Rickey?’ They say, ‘Darn, Rickey, what are you saying Rickey for? Why don’t you just say, ‘I?’ But I never did. I always said, ‘Rickey,’ and it became something for people to joke about.”

In the early 1980s, the Oakland A’s accounting department was freaking out. The books were off $1 million. After an investigation, it was determined Rickey was the reason why. The GM asked him about a $1 million bonus he had received and Rickey said instead of cashing it, he framed it and hung it on a wall at his house.

In 1996, Henderson’s first season with San Diego, he boarded the team bus and was looking for a seat. Steve Finley said, “You have tenure, sit wherever you want.” Henderson looked at Finley and said, “Ten years? Ricky’s been playing at least 16, 17 years.”

Near the end of his playing career, Rickey called San Diego GM Kevin Towers and left the following message: “This is Rickey calling on behalf of Rickey. Rickey wants to play baseball.”

This one happened in Seattle. Rickey struck out and as the next batter was walking past him, he heard Henderson say, “Don’t worry, Rickey, you’re still the best.”

Rickey once asked a teammate how long it would take him to drive to the Dominican Republic.

Moments after breaking Lou Brock’s stolen base record, Henderson told the crowd – with Brock mere feet next to him – “Lou Brock was a great base stealer, but today, I am the greatest of all-time.”

Henderson once fell asleep on an ice pack and got frostbite – which forced him to miss three games — in mid-August.

A reporter asked Henderson if Ken Caminiti’s estimate that 50 percent of Major League players were taking steroids was accurate. His response was, “Well, Rickey’s not one of them, so that’s 49 percent right there.”

Henderson broke Ty Cobb’s career record for runs scored with a home run. After taking his usual 45 seconds or so around the bases, Rickey slid into home plate.

On being Nolan Ryan’s 5,000th career strikeout: “It gave me no chance. He (Ryan) just blew it by me. But it’s an honor. I’ll have another paragraph in all the baseball books. I’m already in the books three or four times.”

San Diego GM Kevin Towers was trying to contact Rickey at a nearby hotel. He knew Henderson always used fake names to avoid the press, fans, etc. He was trying to think like Rickey and after several attempts; he was able to get Henderson on the phone.

Rickey had checked in under Richard Pryor.

The morning after the Sox finished off their 2004 World Series sweep against St. Louis, Henderson called someone in the organization looking for tickets to Game 6 at Fenway Park.

The Mets were staying in a hotel less than a mile from Cinergy Field in Cincinnati. While some players walked, most took the team bus. A few minutes after they arrived — again it was less than a mile – the last players off the bus noticed a stretched limo that had just pulled up.

Of course, Rickey emerged from the back seat.

A reporter once asked Rickey if he talked to himself, “Do I talk to myself? No, I just remind myself of what I’m trying to do. You know, I never answer myself so how can I be talking to myself?”

Apparently this one isn’t true, but it’s so funny I had to include it.

The story went that a few weeks into Henderson’s stint with the Mariners, he walked up to John Olerud at the batting cage and asked him why he wore a batting helmet in the field. Olerud explained that he had an aneurysm at nine years old and he wore the helmet for protection. Legend goes that Henderson said, “Yeah, I used to play with a guy that had the same thing.” And Olerud said, “That was me, Rickey.”

Henderson played with Olerud on the Blue Jays and the Mets.

Rickey was asked if he had the Garth Brooks album with Friends in Low Places and Henderson said, “Rickey doesn’t have albums. Rickey has CDs.”

During a contract holdout with Oakland in the early 1990s, Henderson said, “If they want to pay me like Mike Gallego, I’ll play like Gallego.”

In the late 1980s, the Yankees sent Henderson a six-figure bonus check. After a few months passed, an internal audit revealed the check had not been cashed. Current Yankees GM Brian Cashman – then a low-level nobody with the organization – called Rickey and asked if there was a problem with the check. Henderson said, “I’m just waiting for the money market rates to go up.”

Rickey was pulled over by a San Diego police officer for speeding. As the officer was approaching Rickey’s car, the window went down a few inches and a folded $100 bill emerged. The officer let Rickey and his money head home without a ticket.

When he was on the Yankees in the mid-1980s, Henderson told teammates that his condo had such a great view that he could see, “The Entire State Building.”

During one of his stays with Oakland, Henderson’s locker was next to Billy Beane’s. After making the team out of spring training, Beane was sent to the minors after a few months. Upon his return, about six weeks later, Henderson looked at Beane and said, “Hey, man, where have you been? Haven’t seen you in awhile.”

To this day and dating back 25 years, before every game he plays, Henderson stands completely naked in front of a full length locker room mirror and says, “Ricky’s the best,” for several minutes.

In the last week of his lone season with the Red Sox, Chairman Tom Werner asked Henderson what he would like for his ‘going-away’ gift. Henderson said he wasn’t going anywhere, but he would like owner John Henry’s Mercedes. Werner said it would be tough to get the same make and model in less than a week and Henderson said, “No, I want his car.” Turns out the Sox got Henderson a Red Thunderbird and when he saw it on the field before the last game of the season, Rickey said, “Whose ugly car is on the field?”

We may have new information as to why Senior GiGB Contributor Joe has not being contributing much.

Our sources are reporting Joe has taken on a part time job, of all things, as an international soccer referee.

More information as it becomes available.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86AJje3ElDc]

Mike Florio with Pro Football Talk.com just wrote that the Redskins are making a strong push to sign Albert Haynesworth.

My gut reaction was this is a huge move - but then reality sinks in.  He has had some off field issues, and he stomped on that dude’s head during a game a few years ago.  And he’s coming off his career year in his free agency year.  That’s never good…

My fingers are crossed, but this feels a lot like Bruce Smith, Jason Taylor, Dan Wilkerson, etc.  But if he can shore up the Redskins’ run D, I’m stoked.  Then again, if he’s so good, why aren’t the Titans trying to resign him?  Didn’t the Titans have the best record in football last year?

Ol’ Danny Boy loves to make a big splash every Spring.  I think the ‘Skins only have 3 or 4 draft picks this year, so like always, they are never going to get any better through the Draft.  And of course, this could all be completely bogus.  I kinda hope it is.

*Update
I just heard the contract will be in the neighborhood of $100 million at $15 or $16 mil a year.  So this would be a 6 or 7 year deal.  Meaning he’ll be 34 or 35 when the contract expires.  NFL contracts aren’t guaranteed, so odds are they’ll cut him or restructure before then, but this will jack up the ‘Skins cap number for a while.